When I Grow Up

I flew into Louisville to catch up with some friends and to visit my family last month and it brought back all of these feelings from when I was younger in Kentucky. I had all of these plans for my life and I thought I knew who I was and wher I was going in life. So many things changed and along with those changes, I changed, too. I have seen many movies where people go back in time or want to go back in time and I have often wondered what it would be like, what I would be like, if I could do the same. Things that I would have done differently, words that I would have said (or not), and people I would have let in to my life or stopped before I opened my heart to them are often the big things that come to mind. When this nostalgia hits me hard, and I think about what could have been or maybe even what should have been, I can't help but start looking at my life in the present and who I am now. I realize that if I started erasing or changing my past, sure I would be a different person, but, would I be a better person? And the answer is probably not. Have I made any mistakes in my life so far? Absolutely. Have I learned from those mistakes? Well, I guess from some of them. I am still growing up and even though I am 37 now, I don't feel grown up yet because I still have alot to learn and to do and to discover in this great big world. Will I make more mistakes? I hope so. Besides, if I set up a standard of perfection in myself and others, who will ever live up to it...